6 July, 2008

The Yellow Paint Incident

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 6:48 pm by crazyredd101

This is dedicate to all those who have ever been called the clumsiest person in the world. I’m sorry to inform you that I have stolen that title.

The gist of the story is I was helping out my friend, Kaitlin, who is a camp counselor. Unfortunately, my clumsiness chose to express itself during craft time. I was sitting at the table setting up the paint for the day and, being my stubborn self, refused my friend’s help. I somehow managed to bump a cup of paint, and not just any paint; a cup of bright yellow, craft paint. I would like to add now that the outfit I was wearing was not my own; half of it was owned by my friend, the other half by her mother.

Needless to say, the paint went all over. I was covered with it. It soaked through my two shirts and my shorts. I automatically reached for wet wipes, but they were pretty much useless. I stood there with my yellow clothes, hands, tummy and thighs as Kaitlin laughed her head off. Luckily the camp had a washer and dryer and I was able to salvage the clothes. However, my skin was another story. I scrubbed and scrubbed in the shower, but it still took days for the paint to fade off of my tummy and hands. I am now called the “Craft-Challenged” girl and I have been banned from the craft corner. It’s shameful really.


11 June, 2008

Girls and Their Balls

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:50 pm by breathingbullets

I’ve never been a huge sports person.  I haven’t even been a little sports person.  They were just the things that guys found more relevant than their relationships and had mild heart attacks over.  (How sexist is that?)  But then…in this year of new experiences, I have found that they’re not testosterone-filled pummeling sessions.  It’s intricate and stressful; the game
requires real talent, foresight, and skill.

I’m going to hold steadfast to the belief that they should not be making that much money for something that’s so…recreational.  I don’t believe actors and singers should be making that much either, but…Hell, what do I know?  I’m just a pretty average person that will never be an athletic champion or a glamorous (see: borderline anorexic,coke-loving alcoholic) movie star.

Anyway, it was the first time I sat and watched an NBA game, and it was one of the most amazing physical things I had ever seen. There really wasn’t any rest until the last five seconds of the game.  And at first it was, like, “Why does everyone in yellow suck ‘cept for that one guy?” Then I found out that ‘one guy’ was Kobe Bryant, and dude, the guy is a machine. I can understand why his name was everywhere.  Or…maybe it still is.  I saw some clips of his wife during half-time.  she is drop-dead gorgeous.  I can’t grasp his desire to cheat on her and risk losing her, but I suppose that question settled in the dust with the whole
rape scandal.

I do plan on watching another game if I stumble across it while channel surfing.  I’m really not a dedicated fan–and I don’t have designs for becoming one.  It’s just–the only reason I sat down and watched it was because my step-father was. My mother is definitely not a sports person.  And she hates them even more now ’cause her husband will skip family outings to watch his games.  But I wonder if I would have ever come to watch, and enjoy, the sport without male influence. And I kind of wonder what other things I missed out on learning to enjoy as a ‘fatherless’ child.  I’m still not entirely sure of a father’s purpose in a child’s life.
But yay! Go Lakers~!
~*~ C.K.

8 June, 2008

In Convenience

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 2:33 pm by breathingbullets

I stopped writing…no particular reason why.  Everything stopped at once.  My own story, some fun little things for Fiction Press, some little things for Fan Fiction, and…well, this.  I’m not entirely sure why.  I haven’t been busy.  It’s weird, you know?  You have all of the time in the world yet you manage to accomplish nothing.  But when things are moving faster and the world lurches under your feet ’cause there isn’t time for anything at all, you wish from here to Hell everything would slow down a touch and give you a chance to grip reality again.  Or at least find a handhold on the edge of your frame of mind.

I don’t know if other people are like that, but…I have been in Arizona for the past couple of days.  It has to be one of the most gorgeous places in the United States.  To sort of follow up CrazyRedd’s thing, I don’t know how people can choose to stay in a place like Florida where life is…almost lifeless.  This place is empty, really…but it’s filled with so much.  And all of it is inspiring.  And yeah, so I’m back.  I don’t know if she is.  But the time and space to just breathe is really good.  And I think no matter how stressed out someone is…how much of their week they have to cram into one day–in that time where you do nothing, everything else seems to sort itself out.

~*~ C.K.

26 April, 2008

Flirting with an Idea

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 4:49 pm by breathingbullets

Despite the insanity of the coming exam week, term papers, and “stress” of planning out an awesome summer, Red and I managed to have a decent bout of randomness yesterday. The question posed was: Will guys hug girls that ask them for one—whether or not they knew her. It wasn’t a precise or accurate study, but the results were actually rather entertaining.

5 out of the 15 asked said, “No,” and though the majority was hesitant, two-thirds ended up saying, “Yes” or…gave a “maybe” that was leaning closer to yes. They probably thought we were weird and excessively and eccentrically random, but I was rather daunted by their hesitation. I don’t expect others to be as…hug-oriented as I am. That would be an insane standard to hold people to.

Back in the day—a whole year ago—all of my relationships were defined physically. If I approached you and hugged you, you were a definite friend or close acquaintance. If you managed to get a kiss on the cheek, it meant I absolutely adored you and valued your friendship. Should you get bitten, it was probably ‘cause you tasted good, but predominantly because I trusted you.

Well, then I got here and the hugs stopped which was actually rather hard on me. I’m not an extremely social person, but I really considered that the hardest of all transitions from high school to college. School work’s not bad, and peer pressure is as ineffective as it was then. I went to three high schools, and the people…that had always remained the same in the ways that mattered. Despite social and racial differences among the schools, there was always someone to hug me if I casually desired it. The 33% that wasn’t “huggable” was a perfectly approachable set. They didn’t mind being stopped and asked a random question—at least, not to my perception. And I can understand why they would have denied someone randomly asking them for a hug—back in the day, they meant something, but I don’t think that I would have denied anyone who asked…if they looked clean and sane.

Three cheers for growing up, eh?

– * –    C.K.

4 April, 2008

Volcanos: The only way to rid the world of Douche-Bags and Morons

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 3:56 pm by crazyredd101

I never realized how often people make racist comments and don’t get called out on it. It really pisses me off, so I’d like to share it with you. I was at Publix waiting in the customer service line to buy a lottery ticket (I was having a good day and figured I might get lucky). The man in front of me had bought some fruit ate it and decided he did not like it. He brought it back wanting a refund and the cashier told him he could not have one. The man made a big deal and started yelling but the cashier could not do anything about it. The man did not have a receipt or the bag the fruit cam in or any proof that he had bought it from Publix.

The Douche said to the cashier, “Look Paco, just give me my money back”. I seriously started laughing at this moron. He asked me why I was laughing and I was like, “umm, cuz you’re a douche”. I explained to him that: one, yelling at a cashier because you lost your receipt does not solve the problem; two, calling someone Paco just because he was Hispanic is really disrespectful; and three, the cashier was wearing a name tag that said Robert. How dumb can you be? I just laughed, bought my ticket and left all the while wondering why we don’t shove morons into volcanoes.

3 April, 2008

Introducing: An Angry Pelican… (and other things that piss me off)

Posted in Environmentalism, Uncategorized tagged , , at 12:42 pm by crazyredd101

As I was fishing with my dad, (for the record: I am an animal lover, but I’m okay with fishing as long as laws regarding size and seasons are respected) he accidentally hooked a pelican. The plan of action when one hooks a bird is to run to the bait shop and borrow a hoop net. You would then lower it into the water, scoop the bird into it and slowly bring the bird up. While holding bird’s beak closed and gently restraining the wings you would push the hook through the skin and cut off the barb. Once you are sure the bird does not have any line wrapped around its wings and is not ill you would release it.

As seasoned fishermen people we are used to doing this, so when others face the problem of hooking a bird we help out. What do you know, that same day, a man close to us hooked a pelican. I ran over and told him I would run to the bait shop and grab the net. He said, “Chill out,” he’d just cut the line. I was like, “Uhh no!” I explained to him very calmly that the fishing line was wrapped around the pelicans beak and if we didn’t get it off the bird would not be able to breathe or eat and it would die. His response was, “I honestly don’t give a damn”. I, again very calmly, explained to him that I honestly wanted to punch him in the face but I chose not to, as he would choose not to cut the line lest he wished to have me kick his balls up his throat.

He must have taken my threat seriously because when I returned with the net he had not cut the line. I proceeded to unhook the line and had the pelican taken to the bird sanctuary to make sure it was okay. As I was walking away he chose to mutter a comment along the lines of, “Stupid Bitch, I should have just cut the line”. I spun around and proceeded to curse him out. I’ve never before or since used the phrase douche-fuck as many times as I did that day. The fact that even after I explained that the bird would die if he cut the line and that it was a threatened species he still did not care made me very angry. I explained to him that if I ever saw him cut a line with a bird on it I would take down his license plate number and report him for animal abuse. At that point of time I decided that I hate all people, I have since changed my mind and decided that I just hate d-bags. Moral of the story: don’t cut lines when you hook a bird.

Don’t piss me off,



“HELP FOR HOOKED BIRDS.” Seabird Sanctuary. Suncoast Seabird Sanctuary. 31 Mar 2008 <http://www.seabirdsanctuary.org/hookedbirds.htm&gt;

2 April, 2008

Jimmy Eat Grief

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 12:30 pm by crazyredd101

WTF! That’s just how I have to begin this tangent. As I sit here listening to Pain, my favorite Jimmy Eat World song I think, “What the fuck?” And, why the fuck have they not made another album? Yes, I know they have made a bunch of albums, but I want more! I have been a fan of Jimmy Eat World since we were introduced when I was about 10, and it has been a love affair ever since. I am appalled that they would abandon their avid listeners. Listen guys, you’re the most important part of my Jimmy Eat World, the center of my Jimmy Eat Universe, (at least for the remaining 1 minute and 37 seconds until this song is over) so please, get back to work. We miss you. Do me a favor; Jim, Zach, Tom, Mitch, please hook back up and make some beautiful music together. Pun intended.

Yours Truly,


29 March, 2008

A Proper Introduction

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 6:46 pm by breathingbullets

I’ll assume that this post will be edited approximately four more times. Nonetheless, just to get this started and cut the red ribbon… This is Breathing Bullets. I expect, really, a series of informed tangents. And yes, I swear, I’ll cite my god-damned sources. There will be profanity, there will probably be conspiracy theories, and then, naturally, there will be postings on the progress/developments of ideas.

What makes it important/Why the Hell should anyone read this…well, a couple of days ago, I got really upset because I had to shake off provincialism and face facts that I hadn’t been aware of. I.e. Breast cancer research gets less funding than Viagra.

I’m well aware that it takes money to move the world, but Hell, I have earned the  broke college kid crown. So I’ll use what I have: the internet, my anger, and a ridiculous amount of free time.

– * – C.K.