31 March, 2008


Posted in college tagged , , at 6:13 pm by breathingbullets

My First Victim…

Normally, I consider my first victim to be my first boyfriend. I never realized how purely emasculating I could be until he ended up with a fractured ribcage. Nonetheless, my first victim for this will be Collegeboard.com and the College Entrance Examination Board. Whether or not the SAT’s are relevant isn’t my concern. I don’t believe they’re necessary or valid, but then, I’m not a professional.

The real problem is: an AP exam is $80, an SAT is $42 (the PSAT is $35), and CLEP examinations are $65. Collegeboard professes that it is a non-profit subsidiary of the College Entrance Examination Board which is also marked as a non-profit organization. If they are both non-profit, why does it cost so damn much to take a test? And then, of course, you have to pay to receive the scores, $9 per school for the SAT and $15 per AP exam request.

In their favor, paying $95 for a test and its results really beats paying $700 for a class and taking the time to do it. On the off-chance you’re switching schools *cough* taking on another fifteen only makes your total $110. It’s still better than $700, I guess…but then Collegeboard.com lays the claim, “While most of the Board’s programs, products, and services support the work of its member institutions, its focus, like theirs, remains ultimately on the success of individual students in higher education,” and I don’t how making me pay close to one hundred dollars for a test that I may not necessarily pass, and then charging me for the score I earned, is going to lead to my college success.

Had I known what college was going to be like, I probably would have started hoarding money when I was about five. Today alone I decided I was going to learn how to “budget” and gave myself forty dollars to work with. I bought, maybe, two weeks worth of food, floss, and some Swiffer wipes, and that gracefully ended the my budgeting aspirations. Money is a huge deal. I can’t afford to work because my classes would interfere with it, and “school comes first.” As fun as it would be to be royally sodomized by loans, minimizing them is half of the goal. So…I ended up in a shitty dorm, $3,500 in debt, and I’m still paying Collegeboard royalties for my own work.

I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be a fee because, unfortunately, everything has a price. I just believe that it should be more reasonable. I understand that a corporation’s goal is to bury its fist so far into your wallet that it’s halfway up your ass, but…it’s not the average working class Collegeboard is geared towards, and that really needs to be taken into consideration.


-*- C.K.